Monday, October 21, 2013

Of Authors and NaNo

Honestly, the life of a fictional character is for the birds!

Kendra has been writing about me for nearly six now (and I existed in her head before that), and still my book isn't published. Why? Well, it has a lot to do with this stupid thing called NaNo.

NaNoWriMo is an insane attempt to write fifty thousand words in one month. Kendra discovered it October 31st, 2010 ... and decided to write Sew, It's a Quest, a book she'd been plotting for a measly six months, instead of mine (she says she considered mine, but didn't want to do start over at that point. Excuses). Until this point, she had had every intention of making my book the first she published ... but not anymore. The honor of first published character of Kendra's went to Robin. Ugh!

Anyways, enough of the pity party. Honestly, my story is probably just as insane as any of her Bookania Quests, or this new The Ankulen that she published in September. (Jen is another pretentious character who likes to steal my place. Okay, I suppose oldest character ought to have gone to Tiger Lilly, but that's another issue. Tiger's book has at least been written.)

Anyways, it's nearing NaNo time yet again, and Kendra says that she's doing NaNo, and that Jen is too ... Just for the record, Jen has no idea that she's one of Kendra's characters. Lucky her. 

This means that Kendra will probably have NO time for writing my book (and she just informed me that she hit a lull point, so it probably won't form a temptation either.) So I'm going to be at loose ends ...

Which means that I might as well do NaNo, too. 

It can't be that hard (insane maybe, but not too hard) since Kendra has done it three years in a row, and the only reason she dropped out last year was that she was editing as well, and she says editing and writing don't go well together.

No, I'm not going to tell you what I'm writing about. I have an idea, but if I tell it to you, Kendra will find out (bother authors!) and she'll start giving me "advice" and her "opinions."

Well, as they say - if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Sew, It's a Quest.

"What are you doing here! Skewwood Forest is no place for a Prince!" - Robin

Despite the fact that this blog is supposed to be classics only, my author insists that I review her published book today, because it's free for the next five days, and because she just published it's sequel, Do You Take This Quest? 

I asked her if she wants my honest opinion - and she said yes ... since she knows I don't sugar-coat my opinions of her work.

Sew, It's a Quest sounds like a fifteen-year-old wrote it. I don't care if she was fifteen, obviously fifteen-year-olds have no business publishing books. Everything is choppy, characters go flat at critical moments ... and Kendra seems to think that she can make up for all this by adding in her "humor."


Okay, I'll give that it's an interesting spin on Sleeping Beauty, and I did like Robin. (Kendra say's she's a lot like me, but that is so not true. Robin lacks my poise and grace - and she can't shoot a bow worth a flip. I can. AND I DON'T CARE THAT SHE CAN COOK. WHO NEEDS COOKING ANYWAYS!!!!)


Personally, I wouldn't even touch the sequel with a ten-foot pole ... but, knowing Kendra, I'll be forced to read (and review) it some time or another.

I'm so looking forward to it.

"Thou dost not cut cube roots with a kite!" - Doranna.
(See what I mean about her humor? Let's not even mention the punchline.) 

And, Kendra - I've only posted two actual reviews on here - I know your computer's down, and all that ... but two reviews? Kendra, seriously!

Saturday, October 27, 2012

"I don't think he knows about elevensies"

Ugh! My fellow character, Maryanne, is insane. Flatout, all out insane. And she has our author twisted around her little finger, which is completely unfair. But, then, Kendra is insane as well, so it's hardly surprising that her insane characters get her wrapped around their fingers.

However, due to the fact that Kendra's twisted around Maryanne's finger, Kendra is insisting that I do this. Really! This is not a book review, and I'm having to lower myself to associating with an insane character of an insane indie-author.

If you are tagged/nominated, you must post eleven facts about yourself.
- Then, you must answer the eleven questions the tagger has given you and make eleven questions for the people you are going to tag.
- Next, tag eleven more bloggers.
- Tell the people you tagged that you have tagged them.
- No tagging back

First, eleven facts about me:

1. I have two best friends: Rhoda, who's a year younger than me, and Kath, who's a year younger than her.
2. I'm blond, Kath's brunette, and Rhoda's redheaded.
3. My author is terribly cliched.
4. Kath has an older brother my age named Rich.
5. I call us the Three Musketeers.
6. I'm Athos, Rhoda's Porthos, and Kath is Aramis.
7. Rich is D'Artagnan.
8. Yes, I call them that.
9. But none of them have read the book, so they have very little idea what I'm talking about.
10. Which is just as well, since none of us really fit the personalities of the musketeers.
11. Except maybe Rich. But he's the oldest of us ...

1. How many knives do you usually have concealed on your person? I'm not going to ask where you conceal them, but if you want to answer that, you may.
This is proof that Maryanne lives in a radically different society than myself. I do not carry a knife on my person, though I would like to. I am, however, a blackbelt in Tae Quon Do, so I'm not defenseless.
2. How many times have you run away from home? Do you ask your parents permission before you do so?
Maryanne, the entire point of running away is not telling your parents. And, no, I've never done it. I like my home, thank-you very much, and I'm not that stupid as to run away into a place that is highly dangerous (despite my blackbelt) without my parents knowledge or consent.
3. What is your rank and station in life?
Uhhhh ... a normal girl. Who happens to be really good at a lot of things ... But, still, a normal girl.
4. Do your cousins like you?
Well, some of them do. I'm not sure really ... Kendra says it's not important to book 1, book 2, or book 3. She might figure it out for book 4, emphasis on the word might.
5. How many siblings do you have and do they like you?
I am an only child. I have no older siblings,  I have no younger siblings. My mother had a really bad accident when she was my age, and she blames her inability to have children on that. She'd love more children, she really would (she's really strange like that) but even when she had me, I was born premature. And, no, that's not why I'm so short, for the information of any smart-aleks out there.
6. How many pets do you have? What are they and what are their names?
I have a tabby cat that I took in from the streets and named Cheshire. Ha, I bet Kendra didn't know that one.
7. Can you dance? Sing? Fight?
Sure, I can dance. I dance ballet, several different ball-room types, jazz ... if there was a course available, I took it. Singing ... ah, not so much, though I'm not as bad as a certain author of mine, who has a downright horrid voice. Fight, though ... now you have me in my element. I'm good with sword (several different sizes and weights. My mother has a huge collection of swords and she's taught me how to fight with and against many of them. She's a really cool mom like that.) with martial arts (especially Tae Quon Do) and Kath and Rich's dad teaches archery and gunsmanship. He made us master a bow before he'd let us have a gun, so I'm pretty good at both. Kath and Rich are better, but, then, I'm better than them at fencing and Tae Quon Do.
8. How many adventures have you gone on?
None really. I've been to many competitions and visited lots of places, but I'm not sure they can be properly called adventures, though I suspect that Maryanne might consider them adventures, she considers everything an adventure, but they're not really proper adventures in my book.
9. You enjoyed them? Right?
Sure, if you consider them adventures. I won many of them.
10. Can you hop on one foot?
This is my proof that Maryanne is insane. Seriously Anna, seriously?
No, I can't hop on one foot. I can do backflips, frontflips, with a sword, do the splits, bend myself backwards until my head touches the backs of my legs, but I can't hop on one foot.
You did detect the sarcasm in that, didn't you?
I think Kendra ought to take away Maryanne's ability to hop on one foot for that one, though I know she won't.
11. How many languages do you speak?
Fluently and completely: English and English alone. I do, however, know bits and pieces of Chinese, Spanish, French, and several other languages.

Oh, and no, I'm not going to encourage this nonsense by asking more ridiculous questions and tagging people. I'm just not.

Friday, September 14, 2012

David Copperfield

"Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show," - David, Narration

I, personally, feel that David was not the hero of the book. He was simply the casual observer who was able to have pretty much everyone he ever met be one of those amazing personalities that could only come from the pen of Charles Dickens. Who the the hero of the book really was, I cannot say.

Dickens was a master of creating characters, and David Copperfield certainly got its fair share. From the eccentric Aunt Betsey to the umble Uriah Heep; from the cruelly firm Murdstone siblings; to the Foolish Dora. Every character in the book is unforgettable and superb.

I would have to say that my favorite character was Aunt Betsey. From the first time she appears at David's birth I knew I liked her. Who in their right mind would come in and demand that a child born be a girl? Only Miss Betsey Trotwood would. And then, just when you have heaped all of David's woes upon her head, and are thinking that things would have been so much better had she merely been an understanding person ... David decides to go to her house and she adopts him and becomes his devoted, loving aunt. She softens very much throughout the book, and it's a very fascinating process. And she does, eventually, get to be godmother to a "real Betsey Trotwood." And I love her obsession when it comes to keeping the donkeys off of her lawn.

"We are ready for Mount Vesuvius, or anything else, as soon as you please." - Miss Betsey Trotwood.

Of course, the fact that both Peggotty and David's mother have my name has nothing to do with the fact that I love the book. Nope. Nothing. Okay, fine, I admit it. I like to think that Kendra named me after them. Even though, she didn't. She named me after the Nutcracker ... but that's a completely different issue.

No one can help but feel sorry for Clara Copperfield. If they don't, they are a most hard-hearted person indeed! She had a good enough husband the first time ... but he died even before David was born. She should have left well enough alone and stayed single after that incident ... but she had to remarry, and she had to remarry Edward Murdstone. To me, they are the worst villains in the book, for they come at a time when David was small, making them so much the larger.

Although I do like Miss Murdstone's simile.

"As sulky as a bear!"
"I go tomorrow!" - Miss Murdstone.

She should have gone. And taken her horrid brother along with him as well.

The Peggotties were all wonderful. Even poor little Em'ly ... poor, poor little Em'ly. She could have had such a happy home! But, no, charming Steerforth had to disrupt the family and seduce her away. What a sad, sad state of affairs that was. The most tragic affair of all the tragedies of the book!

Ham, steady Ham, how tragically your life ended. How happy you could have made her! How sad she made you!

Ummm ... okay Clair, enough of that. We're being objective, remember?

There's lone and lorn Mrs. Gummidge, always thinking of the "Old 'un!" But, then, when the tragedy occurs, nary another word you hear of being lone and lorn crosses her lips. Indeed, 'tis her that is the most collected and cheerful! All she needed was to be reminded that she was not the only person in this world with troubles!

"Peggotty! You mean to say, child, that any human being has gone into a Christian church and got herself named Peggotty?" - Miss Betsey Trotwood

I frankly don't see Aunt Betsey's aversion to the name Peggotty, but it is quite humorous nonetheless. Even more humorous is Barkis's method of courting her.

"Are you pretty comfortable? Eh?" - Mr. Barkis

And then there's Mr. Dick.

"On who's advise I rely." - Miss Betsey Trotwood

He's really a good man, and smart, in his own way. But his thoughts aren't exactly organized, and there's that awful affair of the troubles of Charles the first ending up in his head, so he's considered weak minded by most. But Aunt Betsey refuses to admit that he's anything less than normal - indeed, he's extraordinary in her mind.

"But no one knows what that man's mind is, except myself," 

Says she. And, indeed, he does give her good advise.

"I should wash him!" - Mr. Dick.

And, he was the only one even capable of rectifying things between the Doctor and Annie after the Doctor acquires the assumption that Annie would have much preferred marrying her cousin John Maldon.

Then there's the Micawbers.

"Ahem! That is my name!" - Mr. Micawber

They're such charming people, you can't help but hope that someday (and someday soon) "Something will turn up," as they are always predicting. They have such irrepressible personality, and Mrs. Micawber's resolution to "Never desert Mr. Micawber!" is truly applaudable, although I never saw anyone actually trying to persuade her to do so.

They go at things with a vengeance, and are their tempers are truly elastic. They may be in the depths of despair one moment, then strolling along without cloud in the sky the next, for, surely, "Something will turn up!"

And who can't but love a man who "Surely must think in letters!"

You can't help but fear for them when it is announced that they are going into employment for ... Mr. Heep.

"I'm a very umble person." - Uriah Heep.

Uriah Heep is the sort of person that you love to hate. He's like a worm that sends shivers down your spine, and, yet, you find yourself enjoying those shivers. His devotion to his mother is the only applaudable thing about him.

Ah, what a web he wove! At times he overstepped himself, but those times were few. He held Mr. Wickfield in the palm of his clammy, bony hand. And, then, up stepped Mr. Micawber at last, letter in hand, and it all came crashing down. My only regret was that he was never properly punished, and merely found himself a new hole to dig himself into.

And then there was Dora, David's pretty, foolish child-wife. She was such a dear, you couldn't help but love her - and fear for her, unfit for the world as she was. She was, indeed, as Aunt Betsey called her, "A little blossom," soon to fade and die away!

But is there anyone else out there, besides me, who frequently wants to whack David upside the head for, firstly, not noticing that Agnes loved him, and, secondly, not noticing that he loved her!

"Ah, Trotwood, Blind, blind, blind!" - Miss Betsey Trotwood.

And anyone else out there notice that they both had field in their last name?

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Alice In Wonderland

"But I don't want to go among mad people," - Alice

Alice in Wonderland is one of my favorite books. I've lost track of how many times I've read it. My copy has ... seen better days.

I mean, how can you get anything better than a grin without a cat? Or playing croquet with flamingos and hedgehogs?

The only bad thing I have to say about this book is the fact that's it's far too short. But, of course, that's why there's the sequel, Through the Looking Glass.

"Off with her head!" - The Queen of Hearts.

Every character in this book is genius. Pure genius. And the quotes! Oh the quotes! I could probably fill this entire post with simply quotes!

I think my favorite character would have to be the Cheshire Cat. I mean ... come on! Cats without grins?

But, of course, I love the caterpillar, too ... as well as the Duchess ... and the Queen of Hearts ... and, of course, Alice herself.

I love how this is a children's book ... yet it was making fun of the society of Carroll's day. Only the best authors can pull that off and have their books become classics.

So, you see why I love this book so much? It deserves to be a classic.

"You must be [mad] or you wouldn't have come here." - Cheshire Cat.